A professor of mine once told me “everyone has a story”. At the time, I probably thought the statement was very profound…for about eight seconds. Then my mind wandered quickly toward the keg that was selflessly sacrificing its armored body by soaking in a tub of ice. Philosophical statements from a gowned laureate had to wait. And wait it did, but not without its intended impact.
I am fortunate enough to hike in the early morning hours about three days a week at a local State Preserve near my house. In the heat, cold, rain, and snow I cherish my time walking through the early morning dew getting my head right for the day’s activities. Apparently, I’m not the only one who practices this form of solitude to awaken the day. For the most part, I see the same people every morning hiking the trails. The regulars, I call them. We pass each other about the same spots on the trails casually nodding with a muffled “good morning”. It’s a club, but without any interaction other than to bump karmas as we make room to pass each other on the trail. Often, within the solitude, my mind wanders back to my professor’s wisdom. What’s their story? What happenings in their life have made them who they are? Retired? Married, single, divorced? Broker, teacher, student? Struggling to live or living to the fullest? One day, for no particular reason, my mind wandered toward the type of people that would try to fix these ‘walking souls’, despite their perfectly calm demeanor while traipsing through the woods on a morning constitutional. It got me thinking about the imbalance between those who fix peoples stories and those in the world who use a person’s story to influence their own thinking and actions.
So many people make a living or a hobby out of trying to shape people and influence their stories. Adopting a child, caring for the homeless, treating addiction, comforting a neighbor, or mentoring the youth...all very commendable. It definitely changes peoples’ lives. But how often do we actually listen to a person’s story to soften our perception of them instead of trying to ‘fix’ their story? This is something I believe is woefully absent in this world. The use of perceptions is not restricted to helping fix a person. Perceptions should be used to understand someone, even when (and most importantly when) you are NOT trying to change a person’s story. With a keener perception comes an understanding that bridges gaps between people, cultures, races, and religions. It lessons the distance between disagreement and compatibility.
This is not to say that perception forgives ill acts or evil intentions. Far from it. But it should play significantly in how you react to a person and consequently interact with them. It may sound like I’m talking about compassion. But honestly, I believe perception is much more than compassion. Perception is a weigh station for resolving and maintaining ‘relationships’ whether it’s a friend, a foe, or a stranger. It can lead to compassion, but perception’s larger benefit is the forming and sharing of realistic opinions that usually result in more effective actions.
For those of you out there working tirelessly to change a person’s story, then keep it up. Your actions have a significant impact on many. If your motivations are else where, think about being part of movement that uses perception to make a difference. Everyone has a story. Listen to their story, understand their make up, and let THAT influence your actions. Surprisingly, you may find those you feel most unlike have a story very similar to yours.
I am fortunate enough to hike in the early morning hours about three days a week at a local State Preserve near my house. In the heat, cold, rain, and snow I cherish my time walking through the early morning dew getting my head right for the day’s activities. Apparently, I’m not the only one who practices this form of solitude to awaken the day. For the most part, I see the same people every morning hiking the trails. The regulars, I call them. We pass each other about the same spots on the trails casually nodding with a muffled “good morning”. It’s a club, but without any interaction other than to bump karmas as we make room to pass each other on the trail. Often, within the solitude, my mind wanders back to my professor’s wisdom. What’s their story? What happenings in their life have made them who they are? Retired? Married, single, divorced? Broker, teacher, student? Struggling to live or living to the fullest? One day, for no particular reason, my mind wandered toward the type of people that would try to fix these ‘walking souls’, despite their perfectly calm demeanor while traipsing through the woods on a morning constitutional. It got me thinking about the imbalance between those who fix peoples stories and those in the world who use a person’s story to influence their own thinking and actions.
So many people make a living or a hobby out of trying to shape people and influence their stories. Adopting a child, caring for the homeless, treating addiction, comforting a neighbor, or mentoring the youth...all very commendable. It definitely changes peoples’ lives. But how often do we actually listen to a person’s story to soften our perception of them instead of trying to ‘fix’ their story? This is something I believe is woefully absent in this world. The use of perceptions is not restricted to helping fix a person. Perceptions should be used to understand someone, even when (and most importantly when) you are NOT trying to change a person’s story. With a keener perception comes an understanding that bridges gaps between people, cultures, races, and religions. It lessons the distance between disagreement and compatibility.
This is not to say that perception forgives ill acts or evil intentions. Far from it. But it should play significantly in how you react to a person and consequently interact with them. It may sound like I’m talking about compassion. But honestly, I believe perception is much more than compassion. Perception is a weigh station for resolving and maintaining ‘relationships’ whether it’s a friend, a foe, or a stranger. It can lead to compassion, but perception’s larger benefit is the forming and sharing of realistic opinions that usually result in more effective actions.
For those of you out there working tirelessly to change a person’s story, then keep it up. Your actions have a significant impact on many. If your motivations are else where, think about being part of movement that uses perception to make a difference. Everyone has a story. Listen to their story, understand their make up, and let THAT influence your actions. Surprisingly, you may find those you feel most unlike have a story very similar to yours.
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